Finale

Oh yay!! GEM is finally coming to a close!! And then its exams and then its holidays!!

The lessons learned in this class were merely tools in which greater analysis could be done. Most would have used these tools to analyse the people and cultures around them, but I prefer to use them to analyse myself. And that, in my opinion is the greatest benefit that i've gotten back from this module.

In a previous blog entry, i concluded that my personality traits largely subscribes to feminism. However, upon deeper reflection, with respect to the topic of cross gender communications, i realised more often times i speak like a male instead. I speak to challenge others' views, i am assertive in communicating my own ideas, i use a lot of profanities and i interrupt to shut others up. Well at least this is how i behave when it comes to work or school. I've subconciously made use of male speech dominance to make myself heard. In my private life, however, i tend to speak more like a female. I don't see the need to put across my ideas as important as maintaining a harmonious relationship. Let me give an example

In a project discussion
A: I think your idea may not be very cost effective.
Me: What the hell, were you even listening? I thought i already told you i can get a discount for this component? dumbo..

In a family dinner
Me: Shall we order pork ribs too?
Sister: I'm going for all vegetarian today.
*I was already salivating at the thought of eating pork ribs, but still..*
Me: OK. Let's not get pork ribs then.

Even though i think this is mainly a display of different gender communication strategy in different situations, this could also be a resultant of other factors such as power distances, collectivist strategy, politeness strategy, etcetera. Its hard to pinpoint when we are supposed to display a certain kind of behaviour, or what kind of specific behaviour should be used to tackle a specific situation. It is usually a combination of different tools which makes up one strategy in any unique situation.

All in all, i had fun attending this module, even though some parts were quite dry and technical. It was certainly interesting to investigate on how others would respond to my failed humour too! Especially when part of me really wanted to see the respondents' irritated expressions :P

Week 8: Cultural System 2: Face and politeness

Great. I just realised there won't be anymore lessons since this week's for consultation and the next 2 weeks will be presentation! Then it will be study break. Tada! Thus, I need to blog for week 8 which i have missed out, in order to make up the 8 blog entries.

Anyway of all the different maxims for politeness, I tend to use the sympathy maxim most often. This was highlighted to me when one of my friends once asked why do I always use the word 'sorry'. Whether I accidently spilled coffee on someone or that person accidently spilled coffee onto himself, I seem to be apologising all the time. Upon some reflection, I realise i am not really that sorry. Somehow it has been instilled in me that if I apologise, whatever drama I am presented with will be over and I can prevent a confrontation or being in an awkward situation.

I remember this started when I asked an acquaintance about her dad's occupation and her reply to me was a blatant, 'My dad is dead'. It was really awkward because she didn't show any emotion or try to carry on the conversation by assuring me its alright. She was simply still. At that point in time I could only think of saying that I'm sorry to hear that. Perhaps this incident gave me the idea that the word 'sorry' is very useful. Simply by apologising, emotions can be soothed so that other things can proceed.

Despite having the almighty sympathy maxim, there are other maxims which can prove useful in different situations, without one sounding too apologetic for nothing. For example, the tact maxim is best when a request needs to be made. Instead of saying, "I am sorry to disturb, but can you please help me with this Maths question?" One can choose to say, "Could you help me with this trivial Maths question with your intelligence?" This sentence, in fact encompasses three different strategies.

Of course the first strategy would be the tact maxim, which minimises the extent of the problem, which in reality could be a real hassle. Secondly, it maximise dispraise to the user by implying that he's incapable of solving even a trivial sum, thereby deploying the modesty maxim. Thirdly, the approbation maxim is also used in maximising praise for the other party, when the word 'intelligence' is intentionally used. However, while using these maxims, one must be sure not to over use them. Otherwise they may end up sounding more like sarcasm.

All these are simply techniques used to be 'polite' or put it in another way 'deceitful' or 'bootlicking'. Thus, one has to be careful in deciphering these nice words or be clever enough to use them to one's advantage. This gives us room for interpretation of ambiguous words like 'unique' and 'special', so that we do not get personal too easily or likewise over the moon about such superficial comments. They may just be another maxim, again.

week 10: Cross gender interaction

I would like to state very clearly in my blog now, I do not like it when people address me with the salutation 'MISS'. Like what i have said in class, i only associate the term 'MISS' with primary school teachers and specifically those who are unmarried. On the other hand, I think 'Ms' sounds professional. I attribute this stereotypical thinking to the fact that most professionals i come across use 'Ms'.

'Ms' carries the ambiguity of marital status which respects the fact that not everyone wishes to disclose their marital status. Whereas, using 'MISS' forces the bearer of this salutation to transit her salutation to 'Mrs' in most cases, after she gets married. This I find particularly distasteful as she does not get to retain her maiden name. In Singapore, there's a choice of transiting to a 'Madam' if one wishes to retain her maiden name. However, personally I feel that 'Madam' makes a lady sound way mature. On Wednesday, i have even been informed that 'Madam' carries the burden of being a brothel's owner!

To resolve this issue, perhaps it may just be easier to get oneself a doctorate and transit directly to a 'Dr'. Though hopefully the bearer in question does not get mistaken as a male doctor. LOL

Sexism in language has always been present. Instead of thinking of it as a form of sexism penetration in language, i would prefer to think of it as a resultant of history. I'm not sure about other places, but at least in Singapore, I feel that there is little sexism present nowadays. The statistics about the number of women in parliament or the Fortune Global 200 could be a brought forward effect that is not representative of modern perceptions of today.

People in the past preferred to send their sons to school when they are faced with limited resources. Thus, our older generation observe the trend of having more males educated. This is brought forward to effect on today's society with more male ministers and CEOs. Similarly, chinese characters with the female gender character in it being associated with adversary is a consequence of the past. Women have very low social status in ancient China and thus, all these negative associations with them. The only good word associated with the females, which I can think of is the word 好. But then again, it is paired with the character 子, which means son. Thus, the word simply summarises as 'a woman is only good when she can bear a son'. This reflects the severity of discrimination against women in those times. In present times however, this kind of mentality is more or less eradicated and people simply use the word to express its surface meaning of something being good.

In class, we also talked about some of the language tools males use to reinforce their ideas, which can be interpreted as a form of sexism. Males interrupt, use profanities and indecipherable pronunciation. In engineering, especially with the large numbers of males, these acts are being played out in front of me everyday. I don't see my classmates using them for male dominance. I think this is just how they behave. Given time, most learn how to interact with females more naturally. They don't interrupt, swear or use their 'male lingo' as much and transform themselves into gentlemen. The initial observations of such occurrence could also be due to 2years of national service, where guys are too comfortable speaking in this manner. Furthermore, some women also swear and interrupt as much.

I feel that instead of looking too much into how language disadvantages women, we should do more to raise their social status through actions. After all, there should always be a balance. We are all MANkind living on MOTHER Earth, which is controlled by GOD (male). Who decided the gender of these anyway?

Week 9: Computer Mediated Communication

c u @ *$ 2ml. - No doubt that this looks like a string of profanities. Yet, it is not. More than the hidden message it carries, this string of weird looking characters represents an identity and a whole new language belonging to the advanced IT world today. It says, see you at Starbucks tomorrow, for the less computer-savvy bunch.

While the internet penetration rate is closing to 100% in Singapore, phone penetration rate has already exceeded 100% with some people carrying more than one phone. Indisputably, computer mediated communication (CMC) has become a huge part of many peoples' lives here. Even though some may say they can live without their mobile phones for a day or two, I presume this is stated with the condition that they can still borrow other peoples' gadgets when they need them. I am saying this because I have experienced communication disaster for myself recently. My home wireless and phone have both been down for two days, and already i felt helplessness. I could not imagine if both my internet and mobile line were to be cut off at the same time. It could have been much worse.

Despite the efficiency that CMC brings, it does not come without perils. Some have argued that excessive use of abbreviations, bad grammer and acronyms could cause our command of language to deteriorate. Even though research has shown that most users of different mediums know how to distinguish between when formal language is needed and when informal style is fine, some are still adversely affected. This is especially so in the case of children and teenagers, who are still impressionable. Other common complaints from technology users include frequent miscommunication, mobile anxiety and loss of sleep due to mobile disturbance.

As a frequent patron of CMC, I have experienced most of these myself. Especially through spoken discourse in a written form, such as SMSes, misunderstanding can occur very easily. For example, with the use of the singlish term 'la'. This word is used for emphasis behind a sentence. Sometimes it is used for displaying of annoyance and sometimes insistence. If i complain to a friend about my boyfriend through SMS, her reply can look like this "then u should let him know la. Not complain to me ma..."

I can either take her reply to be a negative respond, if i think the 'la' is uttered as a short and high pitch syllable, or I can also take it as a good advice, if 'la' is a prolonged syllable much like one i'd hear from an elderly. Sometimes, this can be quite confusing.

Without CMC, my world would be totally different today. Can't imagine having no facebook, no emails, no smses, no everything. Even though CMC may be the most convenient source of communication, towards those whom we love, face-to-face communication should still be priority whenever possible. I wouldn't marry anyone whom i've chatted with only through CMC or send my relatives chinese new year greetings through SMSes expecting hongbaos in return. If i only relied on CMC, i can bet i'll still be single in the year 2050 and will never receive my next hongbao ever.

Week 7: Communication systems 1: Components & representation

This week's lesson started off with a video containing all the funny stories that happened to people, while they were overseas in the 1980s. These awkward situations stem from the fact that different countries have very different ways in doing or saying things. Today, with the increase in globalisation, people travel more often and gain access to information about other cultures easily. Thus, i think it'd be safe to say that culture shock upon arrival in another country is less prevalent nowadays.

Even so, i still found out many interesting things from the video! For example, now i understand why the Japanese people never fail to nod their heads whenever the other party says something. In the past, I simple felt obliged to nod back and wondered why they are so crazily agreeable. The man in the video explained that it is just a gesture that the Japanese people use to indicate that they are constantly listening to the speaker. However, this does not necessary mean that they agree to the speaker's point of view.

In Singapore, we share our own unique culture too. Even though we can be considered to be just a country of immigrants, like America, we have our own iconic 'MnMs' too. Anyone who cannot complete this sentence below is definitely not a Singaporean, or at least one who hasn't lived in Singapore in the recent 10years. 'PCK Private Limited, best in Singapore, Johor and ___________' I am sure you have already completed the sentence in your head by now ;)

Digress: Then again, some neighbouring countries do play our local TV as well. So I don't support the idea of asking this at the immigrations!

When we got on to discuss about Hofstede's Dimensions of Cultural Variability, I also learned about the various variables used to analysis a culture. Masculinity VS Femininity, Individualism VS Collectivism, blah blah, etcetera.. Other than analysing a culture with some of these tools, basically anyone can also use them to analyse themselves. Some traits for myself are towards femininity, individualism, high tolerance for uncertainty...... i think.

Basically, I feel that the conclusion of either trait polarity for one society, is only a collation of characteristics of different individual behaviours under different circumstances. Problems with overgeneralisation and accuracy of these conclusions are not uncommon. An example would be that we can't really conclude whether Singapore is a high or low tolerance state. We hate rise in our bills (who wouldn't) and constantly express out discontent about these hikes in the media. However, we also try to understand the government's rationale for implementing these hikes and NEVER protested on the street for more than 20years.

Another example more close to heart would be the magnanimousness of Singapore students. Singapore students may be very achievement orientated - a masculine trait, but most students do not spend all days cooped up at home studying, unlike many other parts of Asia. Volunteering - a feminine trait - is a huge part of many Singapore students' lives. In the midst of their busy lifestyle, they do not forget those who need a helping hand.

All in all, I would say that understanding a whole new culture is never easy. With the influx of more foreigners nowadays, it is even more important for us, the host, to be more tolerant of them. Not to mention it is also important for them to adapt to our Singapore culture as well. I hope the next time I order for a plate of Mee Siam mai hum, the foreigner stall helper would actually understand what I'm ordering, without me translating it into english :)

week 6: Written discourse

I feel that written discourse is the hardest part of the course so far. I can understand the english linearity and oriental circularity, being exposed to both languages before. However, for the arabic parallelism and the indian indirect style of writing, i really got to appreciate them only after the practical study during class.

The lesson I learnt from this session was that there is no correct or wrong style of writing. Basically for every culture, written discourse is simply different and would be appreciated differently by different readers. Written discourse has many influences. These include religion, mother tongue, other dialects commonly used in the community, etcetera. For example, in the middle east, written discourse is very much influenced by the Quran text. Hence, the rhythmical balance.

Someone in my group pointed out something interesting. He wondered if the marker of our general paper (GP) mattered a lot, when it comes to grading our scripts. Since the marker of our general paper is probably some old scholar from a desolated part of England, he may not necessary appreciate our style of writing.

This made me wondered if my lousy GP grade in A levels was a case of differing style of writing, bad grammer, an unfamiliar topic or an essay that simply went out of point. I can't recall scoring less than a B for GP throughout my junior college years. However, to my dismay, I only got a C6 for A levels. I kept trying to justify this unsightly grade in my certificate. Now, I have one more justification of differing written discourse :P Whatever the case, it wouldn't change anything. Next time, at least in NUS, i know it'll be much beneficial to find out the preferred written discourse among tutors.

I personally feel that we shouldn't be too caught up in the style of writing as compared to what the writer is trying to express. As long as I get the main gist of the essay, any discourse would just be a universal one to me.

Week 5: Spoken Discourse

I found last week's topic super funny. Spoken discourse in telephone calls! I mean seriously, who would have the time to analyse phone calls of every day life if we weren't doing a course on it.

I have never given much thought to this subject and simply assumed most people would start off with a hello from both parties, whichever first is not important. Next, they will go straight into the topic and finally, end off with a 'bye' from each side. It never occured to me that the ringing tone is also considered part of the discourse. But what Dr Deng said made perfect sense to me. The ringing is actually a metaphor for an actual person calling out to another person. If there is no response from the intended recipient, the ringing would just go on and spoken conversation would not be able to start off! Brilliant!

Then, came the funny parts. How would you know that the other party is hinting for a closure? Or how do you even end the phone call? All sorts of tactics you can think of. Some would ask a family member to call them, so they can pretend to be busy. Some just wait for the 2 'OK' signal. Some even pretend to be profound and try to end off philosophical, with 'Hm.. ya that's life.'

As i'm listening to all this examples, i just naturally recalled all the different times when i had to apply these different 'techniques'. It was simply hilarious! My favourite is the philosophical one. The next time someone tries to complain to me over the phone, I'd just repeat 'ya that's life' until he/she gets annoyed and stop complaining. Hahahah..

Towards the end, I learned about some key differences in Chinese and English written discourse. Never mind about who likes to include what kind of description in their paragraphs, the conclusion spelled out what i've always been trying to identity between these two style of writing, but could never really point a finger on. Chinese writers ALWAYS expect you to understand what they are writing about. If you don't, they assume you're too shallow. This pretty much sums up my life learning higher chinese back in my secondary school days. Some of the passages are so difficult to understand, i take 3 hours just to finish reading one page. Yet, I never risked telling my classmates, who are obviously more language inclined, in fear that they will judge me.

English language, on the other hand, depends a lot on the writer to convey messages clearly. Thus, if there is anything that is too hard to comprehend, my teacher would just brush it off as a badly written passage with correct grammer, but poor expression. Now that i am a part time tutor, i find myself unconsciously saying the same things to my tutee as well. Clear expression is always very much appreciated.

To end off, i have a tip for anyone who wants to identify an old person. Whether you would like to offer a seat to them or address them respectfully as aunties/uncles, please look out for their white hair to be certain. Yes, you wouldn't want to risk having your char kway teow LADY add extra chillies to your meal by addressing them too respectfully, or get punched in the face while trying to do a good deed. Don't say you were not warned.

week 4: Speech Events

"If only we could capture all speech events in a culture, we could understand it entirely" How fascinating an idea. I never thought it is possible to fully understand a whole classroom of people, let alone an entire culture. But here, its an idea worth giving some thought.

If this could be done, I would observe how differently people buy things, all over the world. Aha! Best way to find out bargaining techniques in every country. What else.. Things people would say or do during social, business gatherings, when they engage in small talk, see a doctor.. I would love to know them all!

The 10 different components of a speech event helped in breaking down each one of these. The 10 components are namely, genre, topic, purpose, setting, key, participants, message form, act sequences, rules of interaction and norms of interpretations. Sound complicated? Not so after each component is looked into.

Here's an example. I met with my girlfriends on sunday for some icecream and chat.

1) Genre: Gathering
2) Topic: School life, latest gossips about old classmates
3) Purpose: Catch up with each other and engage in mindless chats
4) Setting: McDonalds' Restaurant
5) Key: Casual
6) Participants: JC friends
7) Message form: Verbal (English and Chinese) - chats, laughter. Non-verbal - exaggerating gestures, tearing from excessive laughter, smiles
8) Act Sequence: (typical gossip scene)

A: I saw *** in the canteen that day. She was wearing a spaghetti top revealing her fatty arms and eating Ba Chor Mee (Minced meat noodle.)
The rest: Oh my goodness! So obscene.
A: Yeah. I think maybe next time she could offer some of her own flesh for the uncle to make the minced meat. Then she may be able to lunch for free!
The rest: *Choking from the ice cream*

9) Rules for Interaction: Listen when someone is sharing. Anyone who disagrees with the gossip is considered a retard.
10) Norms of Interpretation: People in this group gossip for leisure and do not take their conversations very seriously. These girls have known each other for 4years by now and can chat about almost anything.

There you go. A typical all girls outing.

Most people who do a case study on this speech event with components 1 to 9 would conclude that this group of girls are brainless and superficial. This is when component 10 would come in to enlighten these sanctimonious people.

Its a situation very similar to the 'lip service' phenomenon mentioned in class. Most of the time people don't actually mean what they say and this can create a lot of confusion. This is especially prevalent in the chinese community. People ask whether if you have eaten when they actually don't wish to know. They use self-effacing words while receiving praise, when they are actually beaming inside. All these add on to the difficulty in understanding the chinese people.

So now, chinese people are complex. Girls' way of thinking is hard to grasp. So chinese girls are the hardest to comprehend. Now I know exactly how to answer anyone who asks me to explain myself. "The complexity of my speech is unfathomable for an imbecile like you. I would explain in the amateur version, for a fee. :)"

Week 3: Speech Acts

Digression point: Week3 on the title refers to week3 of the NUS academic calendar and not the CELC calendar.

My lecturer has the tendency to repeat things twice. This is good in a sense it helps to reinforce things that were taught. But as time dragged by, I found myself writing a script in my head about how speech acts can apply to life stories. So, I wrote a story about Mary, which I will later reveal. Its short, contains only speech acts, but certainly a resounding memory in the lives of many people.

Anyway, to me, speech acts are like the curtains of a theatre performance. The moment they are uttered, they signify the point of no return from whatever situation previously intended by the speaker. These words can be scary at times, with the power to make or break relationships close to our hearts. At other times, they could even be life-changing, marking the start or end of an important phase in life.

And now, the story of my imaginary friend Mary.

Boy: Will you be my girlfriend?

(Signifies the start of courtship)

.

.

Boy: Will you marry me?

(Signifies the proposal)

.

.

Priest: I hereby pronounce you husband and wife.

(Signifies a union)

Aww... a typical courtship story of a loving couple. What about those with a violent streak, u ask? In contrast to how a relationship is built with speech acts, it is now torn down again with the same tools in Mary's story.

Mary: I am through with living with your mum.

(Signifies the breakup of generations)

.

.

Mary: Let's divorce.

(Signifies a break in union)

.

.

Mary: I'm bringing my son to America.

(Interpretation: You two shall be seperated!)

How powerful these words are indeed. The next time I use a speech act, it certainly makes me ponder about its ramifications.

Moving on, the next discussion in lecture was about complements. This is a topic that really got me interested. I've long ago heard of campaigns which encourage people to be more generous with their complements. And so, over the years, I've learned to behave in this manner. What I've not heard of, are campaigns asking people to ask for complements they think they deserve! Laura Trice certainly added a new dimension of interest to this topic. Immediately, I got myself busy thinking about what complements I deserve. A great sister, great daughter, friend.. and so much more. Just how many complements on earth do these people owe me?? So the night i got home, I immediately demanded one from my mum =P

Besides analyzing the complements, we also discussed about the ways people reply to complements. I definitely didn't know of so many! Accepting, Returning, Delfecting, Rejecting, Thanking and Denigrating. And I found myself using deflecting most of the time. Probably because I've learned to accept complements, shedding the 'self-effacing' culture of the east. At the same time, I want people around me to share the goodness too. Be it the cheapest bargains in town, or the best handwritten notes i got from a senior. If i have the good things, i want people I love benefit from them as well.

Lastly, the fact that what people give complements on are what they regard as important in life, as presented by Mr Deng, is the thing which strikes me the most. Almost every other day in my life of being a ME (Mechanical Engineering) student, my friends give complements on aesthetics freely. "Hey you brought a nice new bag today!" "Wah today put make up, very nice!" "Eh your hair so smooth recently, did you change your brand of shampoo?" These words ring a millions bells by now. And hey I don't mean i'm the only person on the receiving end. For some reason, from what i observe, ME students love the pretty things in life. I can still recall back in year one, while doing a tutorial, a friend suddenly took out a laptop and said, "Wah tutorial very sian(boring), lets surf facebook and see some pretty people." I was utterly stunned then. But for the next hour, a group of 7 to 8 people just hovered in front of a computer looking at photos of beautiful people and comparing whose friends are prettier. That remained a favourite pastime of many ME friends till now.

So now i guess i have established that ME people focus a lot on image. But then again, this is not exactly the best-dressed faculty. So how come there are still so many complements circulating around? I guess its because it is precisely that people do not normally have the time to dress well (engineers are very busy people), they actually desire to be able to. And so, one way to express this desire is to notice people who do dress well and complement them. In most cases, speech acts come into play here with just enough words to express envy, yet hide their jealousy. Complementing became a channel for expression of own desire, instead of genuine praise.

And now, to conclude my entry, I shall give a suggestion to those who badly need a complement. Dress well, make more ME friends, and everyday will be a sunshiny day.