Week 8: Cultural System 2: Face and politeness

Great. I just realised there won't be anymore lessons since this week's for consultation and the next 2 weeks will be presentation! Then it will be study break. Tada! Thus, I need to blog for week 8 which i have missed out, in order to make up the 8 blog entries.

Anyway of all the different maxims for politeness, I tend to use the sympathy maxim most often. This was highlighted to me when one of my friends once asked why do I always use the word 'sorry'. Whether I accidently spilled coffee on someone or that person accidently spilled coffee onto himself, I seem to be apologising all the time. Upon some reflection, I realise i am not really that sorry. Somehow it has been instilled in me that if I apologise, whatever drama I am presented with will be over and I can prevent a confrontation or being in an awkward situation.

I remember this started when I asked an acquaintance about her dad's occupation and her reply to me was a blatant, 'My dad is dead'. It was really awkward because she didn't show any emotion or try to carry on the conversation by assuring me its alright. She was simply still. At that point in time I could only think of saying that I'm sorry to hear that. Perhaps this incident gave me the idea that the word 'sorry' is very useful. Simply by apologising, emotions can be soothed so that other things can proceed.

Despite having the almighty sympathy maxim, there are other maxims which can prove useful in different situations, without one sounding too apologetic for nothing. For example, the tact maxim is best when a request needs to be made. Instead of saying, "I am sorry to disturb, but can you please help me with this Maths question?" One can choose to say, "Could you help me with this trivial Maths question with your intelligence?" This sentence, in fact encompasses three different strategies.

Of course the first strategy would be the tact maxim, which minimises the extent of the problem, which in reality could be a real hassle. Secondly, it maximise dispraise to the user by implying that he's incapable of solving even a trivial sum, thereby deploying the modesty maxim. Thirdly, the approbation maxim is also used in maximising praise for the other party, when the word 'intelligence' is intentionally used. However, while using these maxims, one must be sure not to over use them. Otherwise they may end up sounding more like sarcasm.

All these are simply techniques used to be 'polite' or put it in another way 'deceitful' or 'bootlicking'. Thus, one has to be careful in deciphering these nice words or be clever enough to use them to one's advantage. This gives us room for interpretation of ambiguous words like 'unique' and 'special', so that we do not get personal too easily or likewise over the moon about such superficial comments. They may just be another maxim, again.

week 10: Cross gender interaction

I would like to state very clearly in my blog now, I do not like it when people address me with the salutation 'MISS'. Like what i have said in class, i only associate the term 'MISS' with primary school teachers and specifically those who are unmarried. On the other hand, I think 'Ms' sounds professional. I attribute this stereotypical thinking to the fact that most professionals i come across use 'Ms'.

'Ms' carries the ambiguity of marital status which respects the fact that not everyone wishes to disclose their marital status. Whereas, using 'MISS' forces the bearer of this salutation to transit her salutation to 'Mrs' in most cases, after she gets married. This I find particularly distasteful as she does not get to retain her maiden name. In Singapore, there's a choice of transiting to a 'Madam' if one wishes to retain her maiden name. However, personally I feel that 'Madam' makes a lady sound way mature. On Wednesday, i have even been informed that 'Madam' carries the burden of being a brothel's owner!

To resolve this issue, perhaps it may just be easier to get oneself a doctorate and transit directly to a 'Dr'. Though hopefully the bearer in question does not get mistaken as a male doctor. LOL

Sexism in language has always been present. Instead of thinking of it as a form of sexism penetration in language, i would prefer to think of it as a resultant of history. I'm not sure about other places, but at least in Singapore, I feel that there is little sexism present nowadays. The statistics about the number of women in parliament or the Fortune Global 200 could be a brought forward effect that is not representative of modern perceptions of today.

People in the past preferred to send their sons to school when they are faced with limited resources. Thus, our older generation observe the trend of having more males educated. This is brought forward to effect on today's society with more male ministers and CEOs. Similarly, chinese characters with the female gender character in it being associated with adversary is a consequence of the past. Women have very low social status in ancient China and thus, all these negative associations with them. The only good word associated with the females, which I can think of is the word 好. But then again, it is paired with the character 子, which means son. Thus, the word simply summarises as 'a woman is only good when she can bear a son'. This reflects the severity of discrimination against women in those times. In present times however, this kind of mentality is more or less eradicated and people simply use the word to express its surface meaning of something being good.

In class, we also talked about some of the language tools males use to reinforce their ideas, which can be interpreted as a form of sexism. Males interrupt, use profanities and indecipherable pronunciation. In engineering, especially with the large numbers of males, these acts are being played out in front of me everyday. I don't see my classmates using them for male dominance. I think this is just how they behave. Given time, most learn how to interact with females more naturally. They don't interrupt, swear or use their 'male lingo' as much and transform themselves into gentlemen. The initial observations of such occurrence could also be due to 2years of national service, where guys are too comfortable speaking in this manner. Furthermore, some women also swear and interrupt as much.

I feel that instead of looking too much into how language disadvantages women, we should do more to raise their social status through actions. After all, there should always be a balance. We are all MANkind living on MOTHER Earth, which is controlled by GOD (male). Who decided the gender of these anyway?

Week 9: Computer Mediated Communication

c u @ *$ 2ml. - No doubt that this looks like a string of profanities. Yet, it is not. More than the hidden message it carries, this string of weird looking characters represents an identity and a whole new language belonging to the advanced IT world today. It says, see you at Starbucks tomorrow, for the less computer-savvy bunch.

While the internet penetration rate is closing to 100% in Singapore, phone penetration rate has already exceeded 100% with some people carrying more than one phone. Indisputably, computer mediated communication (CMC) has become a huge part of many peoples' lives here. Even though some may say they can live without their mobile phones for a day or two, I presume this is stated with the condition that they can still borrow other peoples' gadgets when they need them. I am saying this because I have experienced communication disaster for myself recently. My home wireless and phone have both been down for two days, and already i felt helplessness. I could not imagine if both my internet and mobile line were to be cut off at the same time. It could have been much worse.

Despite the efficiency that CMC brings, it does not come without perils. Some have argued that excessive use of abbreviations, bad grammer and acronyms could cause our command of language to deteriorate. Even though research has shown that most users of different mediums know how to distinguish between when formal language is needed and when informal style is fine, some are still adversely affected. This is especially so in the case of children and teenagers, who are still impressionable. Other common complaints from technology users include frequent miscommunication, mobile anxiety and loss of sleep due to mobile disturbance.

As a frequent patron of CMC, I have experienced most of these myself. Especially through spoken discourse in a written form, such as SMSes, misunderstanding can occur very easily. For example, with the use of the singlish term 'la'. This word is used for emphasis behind a sentence. Sometimes it is used for displaying of annoyance and sometimes insistence. If i complain to a friend about my boyfriend through SMS, her reply can look like this "then u should let him know la. Not complain to me ma..."

I can either take her reply to be a negative respond, if i think the 'la' is uttered as a short and high pitch syllable, or I can also take it as a good advice, if 'la' is a prolonged syllable much like one i'd hear from an elderly. Sometimes, this can be quite confusing.

Without CMC, my world would be totally different today. Can't imagine having no facebook, no emails, no smses, no everything. Even though CMC may be the most convenient source of communication, towards those whom we love, face-to-face communication should still be priority whenever possible. I wouldn't marry anyone whom i've chatted with only through CMC or send my relatives chinese new year greetings through SMSes expecting hongbaos in return. If i only relied on CMC, i can bet i'll still be single in the year 2050 and will never receive my next hongbao ever.

Week 7: Communication systems 1: Components & representation

This week's lesson started off with a video containing all the funny stories that happened to people, while they were overseas in the 1980s. These awkward situations stem from the fact that different countries have very different ways in doing or saying things. Today, with the increase in globalisation, people travel more often and gain access to information about other cultures easily. Thus, i think it'd be safe to say that culture shock upon arrival in another country is less prevalent nowadays.

Even so, i still found out many interesting things from the video! For example, now i understand why the Japanese people never fail to nod their heads whenever the other party says something. In the past, I simple felt obliged to nod back and wondered why they are so crazily agreeable. The man in the video explained that it is just a gesture that the Japanese people use to indicate that they are constantly listening to the speaker. However, this does not necessary mean that they agree to the speaker's point of view.

In Singapore, we share our own unique culture too. Even though we can be considered to be just a country of immigrants, like America, we have our own iconic 'MnMs' too. Anyone who cannot complete this sentence below is definitely not a Singaporean, or at least one who hasn't lived in Singapore in the recent 10years. 'PCK Private Limited, best in Singapore, Johor and ___________' I am sure you have already completed the sentence in your head by now ;)

Digress: Then again, some neighbouring countries do play our local TV as well. So I don't support the idea of asking this at the immigrations!

When we got on to discuss about Hofstede's Dimensions of Cultural Variability, I also learned about the various variables used to analysis a culture. Masculinity VS Femininity, Individualism VS Collectivism, blah blah, etcetera.. Other than analysing a culture with some of these tools, basically anyone can also use them to analyse themselves. Some traits for myself are towards femininity, individualism, high tolerance for uncertainty...... i think.

Basically, I feel that the conclusion of either trait polarity for one society, is only a collation of characteristics of different individual behaviours under different circumstances. Problems with overgeneralisation and accuracy of these conclusions are not uncommon. An example would be that we can't really conclude whether Singapore is a high or low tolerance state. We hate rise in our bills (who wouldn't) and constantly express out discontent about these hikes in the media. However, we also try to understand the government's rationale for implementing these hikes and NEVER protested on the street for more than 20years.

Another example more close to heart would be the magnanimousness of Singapore students. Singapore students may be very achievement orientated - a masculine trait, but most students do not spend all days cooped up at home studying, unlike many other parts of Asia. Volunteering - a feminine trait - is a huge part of many Singapore students' lives. In the midst of their busy lifestyle, they do not forget those who need a helping hand.

All in all, I would say that understanding a whole new culture is never easy. With the influx of more foreigners nowadays, it is even more important for us, the host, to be more tolerant of them. Not to mention it is also important for them to adapt to our Singapore culture as well. I hope the next time I order for a plate of Mee Siam mai hum, the foreigner stall helper would actually understand what I'm ordering, without me translating it into english :)